No marriage is perfect, just like Pastor Scott (@ScottLeib) said, we never really know how selfish we are until we get married and move in together. All of our marriages have had times of strength and joy and times of hurt and struggle. It is those times when we have to deal with the question of, “How do I love my spouse when I hurt?”
This post is not a catch all answer because every situation is different and if you are going through a difficult time, you owe it to yourself and your marriage (and family) to get the help you need to get through this time. There is no need to struggle through something that many married couples you may already know have gone through themselves. No advice can I give you will solve all of your problems, but one thing I want to demonstrate in this post is that you have to keep loving your spouse through the pain.
I have two discs in my neck that are pinching the nerves in my arms and occasionally I lose all feeling in my hands and most of the time it hurts to touch or grab anything. This happened the other night when I got into bed with my wife and was trying to get some sleep. She had some muscle pain and wanted me to rub her back, but my hand was numb and the tingling felt painful. But I went ahead and rubbed her back. I tried to take breaks to move the muscles around in my arm and re-position the nerve to hopefully get the feeling back in my fingers, but it never happened. So for several minutes, I was loving my spouse through my own personal pain.
I hope this gives you a picture of our responsibility as a loving couple and that our responsibility to love does not end when we are in pain. It sickness and in health.
God Bless you.